Stone melts - partially though

I have never been so loving, so affectionate, so caring, so compassionate, so kind-hearted, so tolerant, so warm, so understanding and can include any other good thing expected of a person. This is certainly a change in me that those close to me have noticed. For others its just how a normal human being is supposed to be. Whatever, I have changed rather I have started to live my life the way others want to.

Why is this change so important in my life? Why is it, I have lived life the way I wanted to so long without considering that there are others who are living the way I want it? How is it going to affect people around me? How is it going to affect me? These are the questions that float around having realized that I have changed. Well, I need to find answers for that and fortunately I have found out.

This change makes me a part of society. This change makes me an human being who can be impactful. A person who will be missed. A person who can think what others feel. Larger portion of my life (touch wood) I believe is yet to happen. Larger to mean both in terms of depth and longevity. Obviously the benefits I would reap will be much more and so I have not missed much due to my erratic nature.

My past in many ways attributing to my ego has been glorious past. I was so egoistic and self centered that I cared a damn about what others feel. I can never empathize. I can never console a person. I can never feel that somebody will feel bad if I shout at them. I was so selfish that I have never worried about tears in others eyes – whether in front of me or outside my vicinity. I was so used to these qualities I never felt that I was odd man out. I never realized that I should be loved and taken care of. I saw everyone as selfish and those who do their duties. Similarly felt that I have a duty to do material things I receive. I never felt the intangibles of friendships or relationships. I never realized I was losing out on friendships. Still, I should say I am fortunate to have a bunch of friends who I can proudly hold out as friends to anybody in this world.

The people around me are important part of me as I realize. Its not going to be possible to live in isolation. I need love, affection, attention, care of people around me. I need to essentially be eligible to receive these. Only way I can be eligible is to give whatever I expect.
I am the ultimate beneficiary. There is certainly an argument from within me that I changed because of my realization that I need to benefitted more than what I possess today. I have again been selfish. I have changed by compulsion. But the fact is I needed to realize it. And the ultimate fact is I realized it. Well, I was made to realize.

I have changed. A word of caution for myself though is I have not changed for all.